Florida Man, the life-inspired meme, or meme-inspired life?

Fun fact about “Florida Man”, the news headlines in reality are born from the freedom of information laws in California, whereby news are able to find out more about the commiters of certain crimes (such as Man/Woman), hence they can report the zany headlines we have all come to love and/or hate.

Now, while some may dislike the meme, we can all appreciate the coloring book, and not much in this world will give you the free-flying feeling of coloring in the teeth of “Florida Man Bites Boat Captain”, outside of doing the act yourself. Are they White teeth? A little Yellow? Eh, you could probably remove a couple if you want… that’s the power of coloring, bringing the scene to life in your own mind and then into life!

Break out your deepest red white and blues for the people of Walmart.

If you’ve been following always judge a book by its cover you’ll know that I’m an absolute sucker for mediocrity, and what is more dull and boring than the life and times of people in Walmart. But then again when you stare deeply into the void perhaps the life and times of people in Walmart are the perfect topic for a coloring book.

If we do away with beautiful natural curves and shapes, do away with the zen patterns that coloring books so often adapt, and focus on the crooked shelves and slobby casual wear that is America today you’ll find yourself within a coloring book like no other, as well as finding plenty of spots for your greys, tans, grimy greens and yellows as well as your reds, whites, and blues.

While I don’t suspect you’ll be able to find this book at Walmart, you can still grab a copy and take it down to your local and soak in the vibes as you color.

Admitting you’re an asshole is the first step!

The first and foremost thing that is amusing about this cuss-riddled coloring book is that it labels itself for adults, as though there’s an equivalent children’s swearing coloring book (there isn’t one, I looked, but someone should probably fill this amazing gap in the market).

Not only will you have an enjoyable time filling in the words you’ve always wished to share with your coworkers, inlaws, and that crotchety aunt, but you’ll also be expanding your cuss vocabulary with a bunch of new vulgarities that will surprise and delight as they are slowly colored into your subconscious.

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee.

Another completely wonderful niche that needed (hah get it) to be filled, I can only assume that after an ACL tear, the author woke up to the startling realization that while off their feet coloring would be a zen way to fill the time, and that there’s no EXACT book that perfectly encompasses the need to try to relax while also be frustrated and the immobility of a knee injury.

I’d say the knee recovery coloring book is the only coloring book in this collection that actually aims to provide motivation (“Happiness is a new knee”) unless you consider a farting dinosaur something to get out of bed for, so it stands in its own little clique of weird yet thoughtful, a true chefs kiss.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know it could only really come to this

That’s right, someone decided to gather the three powerhouse elements of the adult coloring world and combine them into a magnum opus, pooping, searing & farting, the holy trinity all in one.

This coloring book should only really be attempted after you’ve maxed out and completed its predecessors, as it truly is the pièce de résistance of the coloring world. You’ll be able to use all your experience gathered through hours of difficult color choices and questionable shading techniques.

By the time you get to this bad boy, you’ll be aware of the small pitfalls of the coloring world, you’ll know how to avoid accidentally having two similar colors next to each other, and your hands will be weathered and resistant to any cramps of problems that could step in your way.

Congratulations, you win coloring… time to take up something new I guess?